Aladdin Suicides
by ChipChallenge149
Summary: Aladdin fails at life...


The Chinese Sultan commanded Mushu to awaken. Mushu awakens. Says, "I live!" Then Chinese Sultan says die. Mushu unwakes. The Chinese Sultan looks disappointed.

Because You Tube is where the poop is! Luigi told them, " F."

Aladdin runs with his bread to the edge of the roof. The guard tells him, "Stop thief! I'll have your fingers for a trophy, street rat!" Aladdin tells him, "All this for the bagel?"

The guards then run after Aladdin, stepping over hot coals...four times!

The merchant arrives on an Arabian night. "Listen." The box he holds opens and says, "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run..." The merchant says, "Ah, still good! ABCDEFGHIJ. KL."

The guards run over the hot coals again, this time, they are closer.

Aladdin is captured by a large woman. She tells him, "Still I think he's...RATHER TASTY!"

Guards chasing Aladdin run over hot coals, but they are running upside down.

The merchant at Arabian night is back, and says, "It will not break it will not..." and the device breaks anyway, and for a long time.

The guards are back to the coals. This time they run backwards.

Aladdin jumps up the rope and is chased by guards. He climbs back down then up again. Then he starts talking really fast. He jumps and says, jump, really slow though.

The guards who watched Aladdin Ali approach the palace danced while the song about Macarina played.

Jafar talks to the Princess. He closed the door on Iago. "Aaahhaahahahahahah! I can't breathe. Jafar…Why…Jafar…Why…Jafa Jafa Jafa Jafa Jafa Jafa Jafa Jafa Jafa Jafa…I why. OW, THAT HURT!"

Aladdin is thrown into the mud. He says, "Look at that Abu. It's not every day you see a horse with two fingers." Prince Achmed tells him, "A B C! Face." And his face got stuck with his mouth open.

Jafar is showing his snake staff to the Sultan. "Obey me, Wario. I am your master. Mario is your enemy." Just then the guards on coals ran down. Jafar continued, "Obey Wario, destroy Mario!"

The old Jafar opens his mouth to show his gold tooth. But his face took up the whole room.

Jasmine in the market just bumped into the fire breathing man. "Excuse me." The fire breathing man breathed out blue fire as his face turned into a fish.

Jafar looked at Iago and they said, "Eww wwe eww wwe!"

Aladdin was looking at the lamp he had just found. "It's looks like such a beat up worthless piece of HIST, hey I think there's something written here, but it's hard to make out." He made out the writing and the lamp shook and turned into the fish!

L'Oreal man said, "I think we did that joke already."

Once the genie came out of the lamp he yelled and finally said "SIT DOWN!" Then, "Ten thousand ye-e-e-a-a-ars will give you such a crick in the BALLS!" And the guards ran over coals really fast. Next the genie said, "Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?" But his side took up the whole room.

The merchant at the Arabian night says, "Please, please, come closer. Ah!" When they came closer, he bled all over his face.

The genie lost his curves to the straight outlines. "Release the focus."

The Sultan looked at Iago. "Have a cracker, pretty poly!" He gave the parrot a cracker three times, then five times fast. The watermelon merchant said, "Why you!" while his face took up the whole room. The sultan gave Iago six crackers fast again. The genie held his puppet and it said, "Silence! I kill you!" And the Sultan gave Iago five more crackers five times fast.

Nobody knew whose face took up the whole room next, or could understand what he said.

The genie started to turn his head around. "Whoa aohw whoa aohw wha ahw wha!" Then, as he continued turning his head around, he said, "You spin me right round, baby right round, like a record baby spin me right round." Later, "Hi where you from? What's your name?" Aladdin responded, "Uh, uh, A…" The genie said, "Uh uh uh, hello uh uh uh! Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you uh, or maybe just uh, or how about…" When Tim (Taylor) Allen says, "Uhah!"

The genie told Aladdin, "Rule number one, SIT DOWN!" So Aladdin sat down. The genie told him next, "Rule number two number rule number two number rule number two number rule number two number rule number two number."

Then the guards running across the coals were running slow and upside down.

The genie explained rule number two, "I can't make love with anybody else." Aladdin repeated, "It's hard to make out." Then the genie's lip head kissed Aladdin but slower than usual.

The genie rubbed a ruler on his back and said, "I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny."

The genie continued telling Aladdin, "Rule number three…" then the room changed colors, and he continued on, "I CAN'T RAISE ANYONE FROM THE DEAD. IT'S NOT A PRETTY PICTURE. I DON'T LIKE DOING IT!" While he said the last sentence, he got closer.

Then Iago fell off the snake staff. He said slowly, "Yeeeeeaaaaah, Ka-" a mushroom cloud appeared, "BOOM!"

While Aladdin and Abu were running away, Abu saw the sword-swallower. He took the sword out of his mouth a few times and the man screamed. Then Abu did it again a few times. The next time the man screamed, the room changed colors and he got closer. Abu showed the guards his sword (from the man's mouth) and a guard said, "He's got a finger!" Another guard said, "You idiots! We've all got fingers!"

The genie got mad at Aladdin. He said, "You bunch of lying punks! And I know who it's coming from. Because I've back traced it, and I know who's emailing it and who's doing it, and you'll be reported to the cyber police, and the state police. If you ever try one more thing, or screw up my computer again, you'll be arrested! And if you come near my daughter, guess what? Consequences will never be the same, you lying bunch of pricks!"

Iago fell off the snake staff again, after meeting Aladdin. He went up and down a lot while holding on with his beak. Finally, he hit the ground.

The telephone rang. "Robotnick's emporium." "Lamp oil, ropes, bombs. Today's topic: fears the future family man." "Doctor Eyeball Robotnick." "Share with us." "You can call me the distinguished Doctor Robotnick." "Don't count on it. So, what are you up to now?" "Catching Sonic the hedgehog." "Get a little deeper." "Now, today, he's mine…" "Deeper." "Uh, no." Slower, "Deeper." "You babbling bobo…" "SIT DOWN!" "For * sake, that better have been the wrong number!"

Iago flew to Jafar. "Ah ha…ha…ha…ha…ha…ha." Then Jafar choked Iago. "Ouch!"

The genie was on the magic carpet. "Squdalah, we are off!"

The guards on the coals were running the opposite way now.

The genie told Aladdin, "Poof what do you need? Poof what do you need? Poof what do you need?" Then he repeated that twice. "Poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof what do, poof, poof, poof what do you…" And faster, "P, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p! SIT DOWN!" But the last part let him change color and take up the whole room. Aladdin sat down.

The genie was trying to make Aladdin a prince. "Let's work with you here." Aladdin turned into Luigi. "Oh, I like it, muy macho!"

Iago and Jafar were laughing. "Hahaha, hahahahaha, hahaha, hahahahaha!"

The genie and Jafar were looking at Jasmine. The genie's mouth dropped. Jafar said, "Hum, that's better." Then Jafar closed the genie's mouth. "Now…" The genie's mouth opened again. It closed and opened three times, then three times faster. "Pussy, pussy, pussy." The genie's mouth opened fast three times again. "Don't talk back to me, you big blue…pussy!" Then the genie's mouth opened and it took up the whole room.

The guards ran over the coals and backwards three times. Aladdin said, "Your majesty, I have journeyed from afar to seek your daughter's pussy." Jafar told him, "I'm afraid, prince abu boo…Ababua…abubu…ababua…abubu…babua…boo…babua…boo…bua…whateverrevetahw…boo…bua…boo…bua…boo…bua…whatever…bua"

The genie told the carpet, "I can't believe it, ahawahawahawahaw…enough." Then Aladdin told the genie, "How do I look?" The genie told Aladdin, "Like a prick!"

Aladdin was up on Jasmine's balcony, while Jasmine said, "Who's there?" Aladdin said, "It's me Prince Ali…I MEAN PRINCE ALI ABABUA." As his voice grew louder.

Jafar, as his face took up the whole room, said, "Who you calling pig?"

Jasmine said to Aladdin, "Who are you? Tell me the truth." Aladdin said, "The truth?" Jasmine looked at him like he was lying. We heard a choir tell us, "Ah he me in the horse…" Aladdin, "The truth, um." Jasmine's choir said, "Ah he in the horse…" Aladdin, "The truth is I…" Jasmine's choir said, "As he told us…" Aladdin, "I sometimes times, times…" Jasmine's face started turning read as her choir said, "Satan me…" Aladdin, faster, "I sometimes like to dressup…" Jasmine's choir said, "Savior me…" Aladdin, "But I really am a prince…" Jasmine's eyes started glowing as the choir said, "Oh no me…" Aladdin's hat moved up and down. Jasmine said, "I hate you." Then her face turned into the fish.

When the genie took up the whole room, he was a bee and said, "MAYDAY, MAYDAY!"

Jafar laughed and Jasmine and her father looked at Jafar as if they were afraid.

The genie saw Aladdin walking across the hall. "Ba ba ba ba ba da da da, ba da da da, da da da, ba daud daud, bud dud, BUD DUD!" And his face started to take up the whole room. Inside he said to Aladdin, "Pist, your line is, 'I'm going to CFKU the genie.' Anytime…anytime…anytime, anytime…any-any-anytime." Aladdin said, "Genie, I can't." The genie told him, "Sure you can. You just go, 'Ahawahawahawahaw.' enough." And his face took up the whole room.

The guards went to the coals, but up-right now.

The genie, as he went in his lamp, said to Aladdin, "You get nothing, you lose! Good day, sir." Aladdin told him, "Genie, I'm really sorry." The genie said, "Pb pb pb pb pb pb pb eoee." Then his face turned into the fish.

Aladdin is about to suicide. "In that case, I'm just going to kill myself. I'll kill myself right now. That's all there is to it. And * you!" Then he jumped off the balcony. Next thing he knew he fell off a cliff. "Ah, ha, ha, ho, hoo, who!" Aladdin said, like Goofy. He fell down into the bottom of the ocean. "Blew, blue, bloop…DIE!" The guards who witnessed this laughed and said, "You stupid bastard! Hah ah aha ha!"

The genie said, "Jafar, Jafar, he's our man. If he can't do it, WRONG!"


End file.
